Saturday, November 9, 2013

Beginning

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
~Lao-tzu

Life is full of beginnings- of defining moments where change stops being a thought and starts being the new way to live. Some of these beginnings are chosen, some are handed over, and some are hard to stomach. But each of these beginnings is a step in shaping us into something new we will become.

This is a new beginning for Red Sky At Mourning- a new look and feel, a new outline, but most importantly, a new heart for the writer. A year ago, when I stopped writing these messages to you, readers, I was dealing with two major life changes that had lead me to question who I was and what I was sharing.

The first major life change had happened almost a year before, when our home was flooded and part of our foundation destroyed in hurricane Irene. The devastation that is brought on by watching part of your home wash away while you are paddled out on a little life raft is hard to describe. I had spent the year cleaning and rebuilding the life I had known before, desperately clinging to the hope that normal would return. And just when the anxiety that rainstorms had begun to bring began to subside, we found ourselves facing yet another hurricane season, and my heart was starting to feel a little faint. 

The second major change took me from a little faint to broken. A good friend of mine fell down, hit his head, and passed away suddenly. The rocky world as I knew it became a sudden place of sadness. Life started to feel overwhelmingly short, and hard to fathom. And though I clung strong to the Creator, I felt very small and a little lost. 

And so these two major changes made me realize that I needed to stop writing for a while so I could take some time to learn. I wanted to get closer with God and what He had for me, but I also wanted to get reacquainted with myself, not just as a writer, but as a whole person. I wanted to be strengthened and changed and made new through the knowledge of the Lord, who I was starting to realize, was very very awesome in the midst of a terrifyingly chaotic world. And I was once again on a raft in the middle of the flood waters, but instead of feeling sorry or hurt, I was learning strength and trust.

I came back to you now with another new beginning- this time for Red Sky, for the hopes that I had when I first started writing back in 2011. In my time away, I have learned three invaluable lessons that I believe will shape this next stage of my heart as I pour it out on to these webpages. 

Lesson 1: Much of what we do and who we are is shaped by fear. We can almost always look back on mistakes we've made and ask ourselves, "what was I afraid of?" We can do the same for others. It is the first step to understanding what makes a person up. 

Lesson 2: Understanding a person is essential to loving them wholeheartedly. When we see someone in their entirety, and love them the same way, we open up the opportunity for changes in ourselves, and in each other, that may have never have seemed possible. 

Lesson 3: Even things that don't seem possible are easily attainable for God. (You may have known this already, but I needed some prompting). The world boxes God unintentionally- we limit Him without even knowing that is what we are doing. I have learned that the remedy for this is only to ask Him to make my heart and His match- to make us have the same desires, the same eyes, and the same hope. This frightening lesson was the one that most prompted me to come back to you, readers, and start new. 

Red Sky has a new look, a simpler look, and I hope it will hold new messages that will touch both your heart and mine. All the older entries are still in the archives for anyone who might like to look back as well- as for me, I am looking forward.

And I am looking forward to sharing my heart with you again.

2 comments:

  1. Rai, what a beautiful post! I know what it is like to lose a best friend so suddenly. It actually happened 2 years ago today. We had no idea! He was 30 years old, married for 7 years to my dear friend Katrina. It broke my heart. It also broke my husband's heart because it was his best friend. It does give you a different perspective on life. I haven't written in a long time either. I also took some time to learn. I agree with you on life being based on fear. It is so not what God intended for any of us! We need to live based on Faith. Thanks for sharing and I look forward to your posts!! Miss you my friend!

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  2. Thank you Jess! Keep your great insights coming! And I am sorry for your loss...

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